Crazy Dream of Ironman... I won the race, but i cheated?

BAH! I'm off to volunteer at the Shawnigan Half in a few minutes, so as per usual, I'm going to rush through an entry and hope that something of what I intended to say will emerge in spite of the limitations of time.


I've been having very disturbed sleeping patterns this week. I'll wake up in the middle of the night and feel ready to train, feel convinced its time to train, and feel confused by the fact that it seemed to be eternally 2:00am on my alarm clock. Felt like something had gone wrong. So strange. one night, I woke up 3 times before 3:00am, and was so confused and in a disoriented headspace. I didn't feel like my sleep was interrupted. Then in the morning, I would sleep in past my swim wake up time. bah! so weird! Today, though, i graciously woke up 2 minutes before my alarm...

Last night I dreamed that I raced ironman. Yikes.

I was so impressed with my fitness capacities.... As i try to recall the dream, I don't remember swimming, just that I finished the swim fast (sub 1 hour). Nor do i remember much about biking, except that i felt so strong and i didn't need to take many breaks. I remember crossing richter pass, and then there was an urban section- like cycling through NYC! Perhaps that is the future for Penticton (?!).

I remember the transition from bike to run. I felt strong -- I could run the whole thing it seemed. Funny- the run was set on the bike path I ran in Regina this summer. And the turnaround was the exact same spot I turned around in Regina. I was cheered on, I was passing people and I kept telling myself to do as Carolyn said: "listen to your body- walk when you need to!" I was afraid of injury, but I wouldn't walk- it didn't seem necessary. Then I saw the end, and did the last out and back mile.... I went ahead with the running of this last bit- but I knew something was up. Then, I saw the time-clock: 9:05;38. WHAT! I was going to be the first female?! I knew that this was impossible, and as I ran the last 20 metres I kept trying to figure out where I went wrong. The race felt so real- I couldn't catch on that I was in a dream. I was experiencing so much panic and disappointment because I had ruined my race that I trained all year for.

As I tried to figure out how i could have finished so quickly, I realized that I didn't climb those hills to the turn around in Penticton. I was begging them to let me go back- and the guy at the finish line was so resistant. he moved to the middle of the ribbon and was pushing me away from the finish line ribbon- not allwoing me to cross. It was horribly confusing and disturbing, because I really felt like I just ran the race and it was over.

Lately I've been really affected byt the fact that Ironman is just one day. Once you race it, then what. ITs soooo much work and then its over....Feels unsettling. Its not an issue that I don't want to do it, but because to me it is such a powerful experience, its hard to accept that it will just end and life goes on.